I’ve observed that the fundamental problem has barely been touched by anyone in the Achraf Hakimi divorce case. We barely have enough credible information to make most of the judgments I’ve seen online, so I’ll focus on something I have enough information on.
Even though the outcome of a marriage mostly comes down to personal responsibility, there’s also this ghostly penumbra cast by the legal system that we so frequently fail to acknowledge, especially for Western marriages. In the last few decades, the institution of marriage has been transformed from a sacred institution that provided stability and meaning, to a financial tug of war which mostly has men at the losing end. The Ebue, Cisse’ and recently Hakimi cases aren’t isolated. They just represent a much bigger problem.
Consequently, many men are opting out of marriage altogether because they fear the financial consequences of a divorce. Statistics show that divorce resulting from financial constraints in the US is the 3rd most prominent cause of divorce, just behind incompatibility and substance abuse. Infidelity comes 4th at 17%. Also probably why women file for divorce above 80% of the time as compared to men.
In the present social and legal climate, a divorce almost always means the man will lose a significant portion of his wealth and assets to the ex-wife and in most cases with resounding disregard to how much the ex-wife actually contributed to building the wealth and assets. This creates a huge disincentive for men to get married in the first place, which is a disturbing trend that negatively affects the stability of society.
As a result of this, men, women and children are affected, very few people are willing to take the financial risks involved in marriage and increasing levels of distrust have been groomed between men and women in the institution of marriage by the legal system. This has led to a rise in single parenthood and a drastic decline in the number of traditional nuclear families in the West.
We absolutely need to have an honest conversation about the institution of marriage and its role in society, marriages need to be made more attractive to men and women by creating a legal system and social environment that is fair to both parties in the eventuality of a divorce.
Marriage is a fundamental building block of society and we can’t afford to let it become a financial liability for men or women, we have to strengthen and renew the institution of marriage for the present and future generations.
This is why I think this problem is way bigger than Hakimi and his ex-wife… They’re simply products of a much bigger problem.
