I have always believed that one of the drawbacks of post postmodernism is that we have too many opinions from self-proclaimed experts and, unfortunately, each opinion is meant to and believed to count. Many unfiltered emotions and thoughts end up finding their way on public platforms where censorship is difficult to implement. Judgments have been passed on many issues and people based on very skimpy information; half-truths are easily fed to a gullible audience who have become addicted to sentimentalism to a point where serious stuff attracts very few. Empathy is becoming uncommon.
It is no secret that we have more talkers than doers and an even bigger number of online critics who hide behind the veil of virtual presence and smokescreens to puff out hate, malice, mockery, insults, condescending critiques, etc with impunity. Social media culture is gradually erasing empathy, pushing us to quickly pass judgment based on very little or one-sided information and people are hiding behind what they call “catching cruise” and being “savage” to bully, employ hostile sarcasm and be rude.
If we could get down from our high horses while criticising others, we would realise that we expect too much from others and we set standards we can’t live up to and that “doing” or creating is actually a difficult process. People online are more interested in criticising people than helping or supporting them. It sometimes feels like there are people specialised in waiting for others’ mistakes for them to point that out from a place of superiority and perfection with little or no empathy. The easiest way to get attention and followers online is to be controversial or to constantly post sentimental trivialities.
A simple principle that can create a more healthy online atmosphere is trying to imagine that the person you are addressing is standing in front of you. And, if that were the case, would you still say the same things in person? If you can’t, then the best thing to do is zip it. Another principle that could be helpful is putting yourself in the person’s place; imagine how you would feel if the same words were said to/about you. If they would hurt you, ruffle your confidence, etc, zip it. Remember that whether online or offline, people have the same emotional reactions. Those hurtful comments have the same effect online as they do if you say them to someone in person.
“Catching cruise” should not be an excuse for ridiculing, misrepresenting, hurting, etc someone. Every comment has the potential of influencing someone’s behavior and/or emotions. A single joke or remark can erode someone’s confidence and self-esteem and even leave irreversible effects. Words have power and the utterances waded in even in temporary excitements can leave permanent marks.
We are not responsible for what people say about us or to us because there is a lot that is out of our control, but we can control how we respond to their remarks and most of the time, ignoring them or using a more subtle approach is less energy-draining and emotionally draining.
N.M.
